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Last month, I followed the spirit of “hell yes!’” and went on a 5-day transformational retreat in Mexico to celebrate my 30th birthday. While taking in the stunning nature–lake Chapala, healing hot springs, starry skies and refreshing mountain wind–I reflected on the thirty years of my life.
Here’s what I’ve learned in 30 years of being a human, 16 years of being an entrepreneur, 10 years of spiritual and personal development work, and dozens of workshops and retreats.
1 ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
As an immigrant who came to the US determined to create my dream life here on my own, I know that when your put your heart into something and back it with action, anything is possible. As Joseph Campbell said, “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”
2 STYLE IS IMPORTANT
After working at NYC’s top luxury image consultancy for 5 years, I know that personal style is not only a way to creatively express yourself, but also a form of self-love that can be practiced every day. It’s a way to be empowered and feel confident. When you invest time in creating a visual representation of what you want to be, the signal is being sent much further than you think. There’s a quiet confidence that comes with looking (and feeling!) like the best you. It allows you to not be caught up in your insecurities, and give the world a clear and consistent message.
3 COMFORT BRINGS CONFIDENCE
If you’re dressed like the movie star version of yourself but aren’t comfortable in it… you’re not going to exude confidence. In my teens, I spent a lot of time suffering from wearing very uncomfortable high heels, all because I thought that’s what made me look best.
Now, I spend more time intuitively taking care of my body than trying to look a certain way, and as a result, I feel my best… especially when I’m wearing extremely comfortable workout gear and hiking/workout shoes that can double as runaround shoes. Like these super cute Merrell Agility Synthesis Flex from Zappos with vegan-friendly construction. I was heading to Denver and realized that I didn’t bring outdoor shoes, so I ended up ordering this lightweight pair of Merrells. They arrived within 24 hours with free next-day shipping. Zappos rules.
4 SOCIAL MEDIA IS A TOOL
Social media doesn’t have an energy of its own. Just like money, it’s a tool, and you decide what you get to do with it. Want to waste your energy in comparison? You’ll find it here. Want to find opportunities to completely out of this world expand what’s possible for you? You’ll find it here.
Use social media with the intention to really connect on a human level, share something of value, and the rest will follow.
If you’re a blogger or a public figure and you want to cultivate a community, the first thing you should think about is this: what’s the value I want to bring people and why is it important for me to share it? What’s my vision?
5 SHARE HONESTLY
Once you’ve figured out your “why” behind wanting to share on social media, share like you would with your best friend. No pretense, no trying. I’ve been in social media for over 15 years, and easily find myself overthinking what I’m going to share. That’s when I pause and remind myself to share things exactly as they are. Honesty paired with vulnerability creates magnetism.
6 COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY
We can talk about female empowerment, girls running the world and feminism all day long. But until we learn to TRULY celebrate each other’s successes as women, nothing else matters. Until we learn to speak straight, bite our tongue if we feel like judging, and stop sinking in the comparison game. There’s no one like you–and never will be–and there’s space for ALL of us to shine.
7 COMMIT TO SOMETHING
Here’s the thing: anything is possible only after you get VERY clear on what you want, and then persist in doing what you love. No doubts, no looking back, no half-way in. Full commitment to something is what fuels drive and aliveness.
8 YOUR WORD CREATES YOUR WORLD
How we use language has the power to shift our emotional experience. Whatever we give our energy and our words to, we will attract more of. So be careful what you wish for, and even more careful about what you say out loud.
9 MANIFESTATION IS REAL
When I started Breakfast Criminals, I made a list of dream brands I’d like to work with. Then, I took strategic steps towards making it happen… until it became reality.
5 years ago, as I was digging into my law of attraction books, I took a piece of paper and wrote down “I’m a sought-after social media consultant and I’m paid $500 to write one blog post”. It felt so far off as I was living in a tiny room in SoHo and was making just enough to pay for all the superfoods I wanted. I wasn’t even sure it’s possible.
At that time, none of the blogs I had started had taken off. Being an “influencer” wasn’t really a thing–it was the age of fashion bloggers, and I had told myself I’m not skinny/pretty/stylish enough.
I definitely couldn’t even have dreamed up that my favorite brands would hire me to write, take photos and tell stories about products I love. I also couldn’t even have imagined that I’d get flown to cool places to connect and create impact.
If you have questions on this or want to know my favorite books on Law of Attraction or manifestation, just ask!
Merrell Agility Synthesis Flex in teal and a matching matcha turmeric latte
10 WRITE DOWN YOUR GOALS
I attribute a lot of my success to being clear on what I want and writing it down. If you want to take it to the next level, write yourself a letter from the future or a press release from the future, as if what you want has already happened. That’s what Dave Asprey, founder of Bulletproof does with his team.
11 VISUALIZATION WORKS
Visualization is a powerful tool that I used to create my relationship and to find our dream apartment together. It is simply a process of closing your eyes and imagining the things you want while focusing on how it would feel to experience them. Visualization is used by elite athletes to drastically improve their performance (it’s been proved by science!), but is available to anyone. It’s like daydreaming 2.0, and is the most effective when you involve all senses in your visualizations.
Here’s how to use visualization. Curate a set of images on your phone (they can be screenshots of things that resonate with you on Instagram), or on a physical vision board that represents what you want your life or a specific area of your life to look like. Then close your eyes and visualize what it would feel like to have it.
Both my apartment and my boyfriend are crystal clear copies of what I put on my vision board!
12 SELF-CARE IS ESSENTIAL
Self-love and self-care isn’t just an Instagram wellness trend. It’s an access point to feel connected with your own body, heart and everything that’s important to you. Here’s the catch… it only works when you actually do it (seeing it on Instagram and knowing what you “should be” doing doesn’t count.)
When you take the first waking moments to intentionally nourish yourself–be it food, movement, affirmations, whatever makes you feel good in your skin–you’re starting your day giving your full attention to what makes you feel empowered.
13 ANYONE CAN MEDITATE
Meditation is NOT about stopping your thoughts. Not about forgetting all your worries and flying away far into the clouds. Instead, it’s about finding a bit more ease with yourself, your life, everyday challenging situations. You don’t need to know how to mediate. All you need is your intention to be present, and awareness of your breath.
14 FOOD IS AN ACCESS TO MINDULNESS
Each meal is an invitation to get really present and connect to your body. Take one extra deep breath before you eat. Set an intention for how you want to feel. If you’re stressed out or nervous, shift your state by shaking it off, dancing, going for a short walk, or doing five squats and drinking a glass of whatever. Then sit down to eat, because you can’t fully nourish yourself on a physical level if you’re not fully there energetically and emotionally.
15 MORNINGS ARE A PORTAL
How you start your day is how you live your life is the Breakfast Criminals motto. I truly believe that how you spend the first waking moments defines how the rest of your day will go. That’s why morning rituals are essential and it’s important to find the ones that excite you, whether it’s moving your body, making a superfood matcha latte, or meditating.
16 NATURE HEALS
If there’s one thing that anyone living in a city can benefit from, it’s connecting with nature. If you can organize a weekend trip into nature, do it. If it’s not in the cards for you, explore a park nearby, buy another house plant, or try growing mushrooms. There are so many ways to connect with nature!
17 SAY “NO” MORE
Stress is a choice. So is ease. If you have too much on your plate, it’s because you chose it. So either find a way to feel ease about it, or start saying more NO. Your time belongs to you. Create healthy boundaries around it, and start every day by getting clear on what’s important to you.
15 CHOOSE YOUR BODY THE WAY IT IS
I spent the majority of my life wanting to lose weight. But not now, “one day”. Then I asked myself: what would my life feel and look like that “one day”? Where would I spend my energy if not on worrying about my “problem areas”? And then… I made a decision to drop the “what if’s” and start spending my time as if “one day” is NOW.
I started spending less time inside my thoughts and more time in my community and in my heart. The result is expansion in every area of my life. Hey, I’m not saying I don’t have those days when I feel down on myself. But now I have a reference point to go back to, and I’m in action instead of in my head.
16 ALIGNMENT OVER HUSTLE
When you line up with your true path, it takes you where you need to be. And hustle doesn’t feel like a hustle. Late nights and working on weekends doesn’t feel overwhelming, because everything is supporting a bigger vision and purpose.
When you’re aligned, you are an open space and a magnet for the possibilities you want to attract in your life. When you’re a magnet, you show up and do your work, but you don’t have to push or grab–you design your dream life from a place of softness.
17 NOT EVERYONE’S GOING TO LIKE YOU
And that’s ok. And as soon as you realize it and stop wasting your energy trying to please everyone, the sooner you’ll become the most authentic and self-expressed version of you.
18 DON’T GIVE UP
Be relentless in going for what’s important for you. A delay in getting what you desire doesn’t mean it’s a denial. If you get a NO, it means someone doesn’t fully understand you. Refine your vision and your message, and keep opening yourself up to people who really get you.
19 FULFILLMENT OVER SUCCESS
It’s easy to get carried away and overwhelmed by what’s going on outside of us. But if we build our lives based on what’s outside of us, we’ll never find fulfillment. That’s why taking moments of being quiet and listening to your intuition makes all the difference. Go for that fuzzy warm feeling in your body versus what your brain tells you. That’s when you’ll find not only success but also fulfillment.
20 WELLNESS IS LISTENING TO YOUR BODY
Wellness is not a gluten free, dairy free or a grain free diet. It’s not meditating for 10 minutes every morning. It’s not even intermittent fasting or drinking butter coffee or matcha with ashwagandha and MCT oil in the AM. And certainly not chugging turmeric lattes like there’s no tomorrow and then trying to scrape the orange off your tongue.
Wellness to me is living an intuitive life. Really listening to our bodies and honoring what they need. No wellness trends can make you feel better than listening to your internal guidance. What it takes is slowing down and taking a deep breath to actually be present with ourselves, so that we can hear that subtle voice inside.
Wellness is honoring your heritage, listening to your body, and feeling ease around food and fitness. Being present for yourself and others. Adapting practices that make you feel like the best version of yourself, sticking to them, and not judging yourself when you fall off the wagon. That’s wellness.
21 RITUALS CHANGE EVERYTHING
Bringing ritual—simply said, an intention and full presence—to any activity, changes everything. Whether it’s making your breakfast or writing your to-do list, there’s magic in giving it your full presence.
22 THE POWER OF INTENTION
If there’s one most important morning ritual I do every day, it’s setting an intention. Ask yourself: “How do I want to feel today?” Then say it out loud or write it down as an “I AM” statement. For example, “I am confident, I am beautiful, I am generous, I am patient.” Then drink your morning beverage with your intention in mind.
23 WE’RE ALWAYS GUIDED
Whether you believe in it or not, we’re always led, guided and supported by the universal spirit. When we tune inside and take the irrational leap to follow it, MAGIC happens.
24 GRATITUDE SHIFTS YOUR VIBRATION
Still not sure how to tune into a higher frequency and enter a more inspired mental space? Practice gratitude. Simply say out loud or get a nice journal and write three things you’re grateful for right now.
24 JOY IS MAGNETIC
When you stop forcing things and let go of the idea of how things should be, and do what brings you joy instead, you create things that resonate with people on a deeper level. Whatever you put out into the world, people will the energetic frequency that’s behind it.
25 LEADERSHIP IS LEARNED THROUGH PRACTICE
No one will tell you you’re a leader. You have to create yourself as one. For the longest time, I told myself I don’t know how to be a leader until I devour every book leadership, and get a blessing from someone I look up to. Then I realized that being a leader will not come from the outside, and the longer I wait, the less I bring into the world. I created my own definition of a great leader, and have been taking actions to live it ever since.
26 GET SUPPORT
Hire a business coach, join an entrepreneur group, create a mastermind. Whatever it takes for you to not be stuck in your brain 24/7. Being a member of a virtual entrepreneur group OwnersUp has given me coaching and accountability that has not only transformed my business but also gave me confidence as an entrepreneur.
27 BEING YOURSELF IS THE BEST STRATEGY
The moment you realize that the only requirement for being relevant and loved is being YOU, life won’t be the same. That goes for personal relationships and for business.
28 NOT FEELING READY? DO IT ANYWAY
Being ready is an illusion anyway. Do things that you’re not ready for and take on things that scare you. You’ll figure it out as you go. That’s the only way to grow. If I only acted when I was ready, I would have never produced the heart bowl, the symbol of starting every day with self-love and nourishment. 
29 BE KIND
Relationships are the most important thing in life, so build your reputation from day one. You never know where people you’re working with today are going to end up. This works in all directions: reach out and help people who are your peers, a few steps ahead of you, and a few steps behind you in the game.
30 BE IN ACTION, NOT BUSY
Erase the word “busy” from your vocabulary. It only creates unnecessary stress. Before I did that, I’d always feel anxiety arise in my chest every time someone would ask me how I’m doing. All the upcoming deadlines and unread emails would suddenly take over my being. Your word creates your world, and by erasing the word “busy” from your vocabulary, you have the power to erase it from your human experience.
BONUS LESSON:
Follow what feels right in your body, no matter what your mind says.